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A late Phriday Phunny

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Catpower, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. Catpower

    Catpower The Crowd Pleaser

    Messages:
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    Location:
    in the Cabana
    A young guy from West Virginia moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
    The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in West Virginia ."
    Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.
    "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
    His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.
    "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.
    That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida . One sale a day might have been acceptable in West Virginia , but you're not in the mines anymore, son."
    The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
    The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".
    The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"
    The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
    The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing..
     
  2. Catpower

    Catpower The Crowd Pleaser

    Messages:
    22,050
    Location:
    in the Cabana
    Years ago there was a watch maker named Tates. However, the watch business was very competitive and they wanted to expand their offerings. Since they had thousands of watch cases, and since America was expanding to the West, they decided to make compasses. Based on their watch making reputation, they sold compasses hand over fist.
    Unfortunately, after a year or so, it was discovered that the metal used to make the compass casings had a bad effect on the compass. The result was that the compass directons were almost always wrong, sometimes by 90 degrees or even more.
    That led to the famous old saying: He who has a Tates's is lost!
     
  3. knave

    knave Undeterred

    Messages:
    7,915
    Location:
    Out for a rip
    :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:






















    :D
     
  4. Catpower

    Catpower The Crowd Pleaser

    Messages:
    22,050
    Location:
    in the Cabana
    Digging up some old ones:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

    Shit I had to read them to remember what the punch line was, getting old is a biatch
     
    knave likes this.